Ryan Hung Himself

It's been too long a lull, all the self-pity is getting dull today.

2005-11-25T20:00:10Z

I don't know. For some things, I guess. I don't really know.
I'm thankful I won 50 bucks the other day...
thankful that I won another ten dollars today...
and I'm thankful for all the food that I've been eating...
you know, around Thanksgiving time.

He came over and put a smile on my face.
I didn't even wanna wake up tomorrow morning.
I had nothing to look forward to.
I'm thankful that Mike came over and put a smile on my face...
talking his shit.

I'm thankful for you too.

Social Distortion

2005-05-26T16:33:40Z

The show last night was really amazing, and was to me the best Social Distortion show that I have seen thus far. Pat, the Big Cat, Sarah and Steve all came over here before the show for some beers before we headed to the venue. There was of course, drinking in the car and in the parking lot before the show as well. For anyone who cares the setlist was:

Mommy's Little Monster
Another State of Mind
Sick Boys
1945
Reach For the Sky
Highway 101 (we have a road trip date by the way)
Under My Thumb
Diamond in the Rough
Don't Take Me For Granted
It's Alright
Prison Bound
Sometimes I Do
Nickels and Dimes
Footprints on My Ceiling
Ring of Fire
Story of My Life

I was really impressed with the setlist actually. When you see your favorite band or artist perform there are always some things that you'd like to hear that they don't play, but considering time limits and reasonability I can't complain at all with the song selection. For some reason this show was really emotional for me, particularly during Story of My Life. I've heard the song a million times, but last night in some weird way it was like I was hearing it differently than I ever had before. "Life goes by so fast, you only wanna do what you think is right, close your eyes then it's past"..Those lyrics totally took me back to the first time that I ever heard Social Distortion. It was that song as a matter of fact. I guess I was just struck somehow with how quickly it's all gone by. It seems so recent that I first heard them, and when I think about it like that the last 10 years of my life seem like a blink.

Update for chaos.

2005-05-11T12:55:27Z

The top three (3) movies that you watch everytime they're on TV, seemingly no matter what else is on, but that you never, or infrequently, watch on VHS or DVD.

1) Houseguest
2) Rocky (1-5)
3) Jaws

GO!

The not so swan song

2005-04-26T06:20:53Z

The thing about this coming Friday, is that our new band is playing our first show at BJ's in Fredonia as part of BJ's fest. For those of you around here who might be interested in something like that, it would be awesome to see you out there. We're playing at 10 I think, but there will be great bands all night. If any of you guys want other details or need a lift or anything please let me know so we can get some pals out there for this fledgling performance. Stay white.

Fat Man

2005-04-18T00:43:02Z

I spent all day trying to figure out which animated feature film showcased Dom Deluise as one of the main voices, then I found out that he did voices in All Dogs Go to Heaven as well as An American Tail. Now I don't know which of those movies I was trying to remember, so I am still vexed.

Observe

2005-04-16T19:56:53Z

If you don't sleep on your back, the Craft-Matic adjustable bed is basically useless.

I owe a debt to Jeopardy. Anytime I need to pass thirty seconds, I just hum the Final Jeopardy theme in my head and know that it's been that long.

There are few better feelings in this world than watching something that has been taped off of television and finding that the commercials have been removed.

Public Transport

2005-04-15T21:31:53Z

I am watching Maury and the episode theme is "Is it a man or a woman?" You know the one, where they march out a bunch of atypically attractive women/trannys. Well the first half of the show is them coming out and Maury walking around the audience seeing what everyone thinks before they reveal their true birth gender, you've all seen it, at least those of you who are cool. So anyhow, Maury is walking around talking to everyone seeing what they think, and this black guy tells Maury "if that isn't a man I'll give you my bus pass!" And he's holding the bus pass in Maury's face. Priceless.

I don't wanna wait, for this episode to be over.

2005-04-08T15:55:57Z

Fuck the episode where Pacey, Joey and Jack sit around telling ghost/attempted rape stories and are then joined by Grams. Fuck it in it's stupid ass.

fear47 @ 2005-04-05T08:11:00

2005-04-06T00:12:59Z

You know, sometimes I just have no fucking idea what Paula Abdul thinks she's hearing.

Town Harlot

2005-04-05T17:54:58Z

I can't identify one episode when we don't see Joey Potter walking around at least once with her hands in her front pockets and her shoulders slightly scrunched forward and her head tilted in such a way that places her chin near one of her shoulders. You know what I mean?

Yeast Beast

2005-03-30T19:23:33Z

Small addendum to my previous thought...
There's really nothing wrong with being a whore. I mean someone has to do it and their existence has made many an otherwise lonely night just the opposite for alot of guys. But it makes me smile when a chick is like "I'm a sexual person..." I got an update for you toots... No you're not. You're a whore. Nice try though. That is backdoor verbiage utilised purely to give validation to the fact that you fuck strangers. For the most part, we're all sexual people on some level. However they have a name for people once they reach a certain point on the experience chart, and it isn't "sexual person".

Need a hand tying that mattress to your back?

You're someone's child

2005-03-30T09:57:45Z

I think that telling a chick that she gives lousy head is awesome, especially if it's true.

I also think that it's funny when a girl develops a false sense of desirability because a bunch of drunken pigs tell her how hot she is and that they want to fuck. I wonder if it's the attention part or the screwing a guy whose last name you don't know part that allows them to walk down the street with their heads held high.

I'll take you in my arms and tell you all I know...

2005-03-30T01:02:39Z

I had this weird feeling today. It was a mixture of a few things. Loss, lack of importance, calirvoyancy, understanding and confusion...maybe. I was thinking about the way that we come and go in the lives of others, and often after we leave, (or they leave) there is no remarkable indication of their existance in our lives to speak of. Through love, friendship, mutual experience or whatever, we have times in our lives that are so severely connected with the lives of others, then those times pass and it seems that with them so do the people right out of our lives, and us from theirs. Now this idea that people come and go from our lives, certainly I understand that and anticipate it, but it's a strange feeling when you look at someone's life 'post-you' and find that it seems completely unaffected by your place in it. Like, your ex-girlfriend makes a list of the top 100 coolest things she's ever done, and nothing that you and her did together is on the list, or someone that you did things with (important things that felt unique and interesting) is now out doing those same things with other people. The way that these experiences are just a moment in time and what makes them special is that minute, it isn't the act itself. You and your ex-boyfriend would go walk around your old high school at 4 in the morning, and now he's out there doing the same thing with his new girlfriend. What was actually important was the combination of you and that other person, that moment in time, that place etc... It isn't just the action.
I remember how angry and betrayed I felt after Morgan and I broke up and she was out getting tattooed with her new boyfriend. I felt for some reason that that was "our thing", but it wasn't, not anymore at least. It was now theirs. It's really sobering I guess but important in helping us get along with things, and assisting us in not holding grudges for the perceived bastardization of things that we thought were important. Getting tattooed with her means just as much to me now as it did then, even if she did go and do it with someone else. We shared that, and that can't be taken away. Do we really think that we can carve out with another person entirely individualistic experiences, that they have never done, and will never do again? We hope for that in vain. But we find those times here and there ya know? It isn't completely lost. I've gone to get tattoos with more than one girl in my life sure, but I've only gotten drunk and talked someone through driving a standard transmission (shifter car) vehicle from Rochester to Buffalo at 4am once in my life. And I will probably never do that again with anyone else. I'll leave it at that.

That was allllright.

2005-03-27T01:30:51Z

Here's the thing about last night... it ruled.

Open bar, awesome people (new and familiar), strippers, good times, good laughs.

Natalie:
So something else about last night.. there were two Natalie look alikes!! One was your size, slightly less-cool hair and no glasses, but pretty close.. THEN there was a mini one.. who looked almost IDENTICAL to you; same style, glasses, hair...everything (except she was tiny). Mark Dunn comes up to me and is like.. "Hey, did you see that miniature Natalie over there?"

Which loser asshole quizmaker are you?

2005-03-25T07:55:29Z

I hate quizzes where the questions and answer choices don't at least slightly veil the outcome.

Ex: Which Seinfeld character are you?

What do you do for work?
A) Tell jokes and try to make people laugh.
B) Work? I just sit around coming up with get-rich-quick schemes.
C) It's rough keeping a job when you have sex with your secretary and fake being handicapped.
D) Book editing or writing, if I'm not out getting socks for a Spring Water tycoon.

I just made that up, but you get the point. If these jackholes have time to put these things together, you would think that they would have the time to make them at least the tiniest bit interesting.

The trials of television.

2005-03-25T04:38:31Z

I went to Fredonia last night and got a bit drunk. That was a good time, although the town was a little barren due to it being spring break and all. I have mixed feelings about tonight. On the upside, that new comedy "The Office" on NBC is really funny. This was the first time in the post-Seinfeld era (with the exception of Curb Your Enthusiasm) that I have felt like a sitcom was worthy of being watched. I recommend it to anyone who likes the Christopher Guest style "mockumentary". Another good thing is the tournament basketball games that are on. Pretty exciting.
Now on the downside, Mikalah was voted off of American Idol tonight. I was really hoping that I would have the good fortune of looking at her sweet teen ass for at least a few more weeks. Maybe she'll get some exposure out of this and be on TV in some other capacity, or maybe I'll stalk her.. ya know, whatever works.

Record Breaking

2005-03-14T01:08:21Z

183 Lines.
Booya.

Sometimes life is good.

2005-03-12T01:19:43Z

You show me a girl 17-19 years old whose parents are divorced/separated, and I'll show you a girl whose having sex.
Thank the Lord for broken homes and youth trauma.

Tetricide

2005-03-09T08:39:15Z

New personal best.
165 Lines
218,046 Points
And until now I was having a pretty shitty night.

S.O.B.A.

2005-03-08T06:59:18Z

I just went and saw Queen City Knights at Broadway Joe's. At least it was something for a monday night. This post is pure coercion. As I am writing it I am sitting here drinking by myself. I have had a few and I have more than a few left before the night is over. I am thinking of growing my hair out again, it's starting to get long-ish again, I guess that's why. I was just playing tetris and got 152 lines. I was pretty happy with that. I am reaching right now in case you don't notice. Anything that I think of or that happened recently is going on the printed page, so to speak. Ok enough of this.
I have a bunch of High Life to drink, and perhaps if the night goes as planned, I will have a high life picture of my own by the end of the night. The only question is (if I am drinking alone) who's going to take it?

The thing about smoking in public is...

2005-03-07T02:45:17Z

I think that the smoking ban in New York should not apply to gay bars. See, I was in this bar this weekend and some people were smoking and the DJ gets on the microphone and says something about "please remember that there is no smoking in the bar.." At that moment I looked over and just happened to see a few fags dancing with each other and something struck me...If a bunch of queers are going to gather in a given place and hang out and give each other AIDS, they really shouldn't be too worried about the dangers of second hand smoke. It seems to me that the degenerative immuno-deficiency syndrome is going to clear the field well before cancer caused by second-hand smoke will. Because of that, I think the pole smokers should do just that, if they got 'em that is.

Seatalie.

2005-03-06T07:58:54Z

Happy (west coast time) Birthday indolent138!!!!!
I hope you're having a wonderful time.
Now we can (legally) get drunk in Canada, you know like in Niagara Falls :)

fear47 @ 2005-03-06T00:01:00

2005-03-06T05:00:42Z

Happy (East Coast Time) Birthday indolent138!!!

Bored.

2005-03-04T01:05:52Z

First car: '89 Maroon Plymouth Voyager
First real kiss: Jen-something or other
First screen name: Distorted1945
First self purchased album: Bon Jovi - Slippery When Wet
First funeral: Grandfather
First piercing/tattoo: Ear, Social D skeleton
First credit card: Mastercard
First enemy: Morgan Ray Denning (2nd Grade)
First big trip: Philadelphia/Jersey

l a s t s

Last cigarette: Drunk a month or two ago, It was very Costanza-ish. I don't know how to smoke.
Last car ride: Starburst Pick-Up
Last kiss: Was on my cheek
Last good cry: It's been about a year
Last library book: Maybe something in college
Last movie seen: If at all, Shawshank Redemption, if in the theater Million Dollar Baby
Last beverage drank: Pepsi
Last food consumed: Chicken Gordita (taco bell)
Last crush: There was this one girl that moved somewhere else. I'm over it.
Last phone call: Patrick
Last time showered: Been a few days
Last shoes worn: Converse sneakers
Last item bought: Starburst
Last annoyance: Snow
Last time wanting to die: It's been awhile, a few years ago.

f a s h i o n | s t u f f

01. Where is your favorite place to shop? I don't really...online I guess, it's pretty simple.
02. Any tattoos or piercings? Sure

01. Do you do drugs? Things happen
02. What kind of shampoo do you use? Ha Ha. Yeh right.
03. What are you most scared of? Disappointing my parents, losing my hair.
04. What are you listening to right now? Descendents - Hope
05. Where do you want to get married? Beach probably
06. how many buddies are online right now? 42
07. what would you change about yourself? Act less like an old man sometimes, acquire earlobes, fur removal.

h a v e | y o u | e v e r

01. given anyone a bath? Maybe been in the room when a kid got one.
02. smoked? Tried
03. bungee jumped? nope
04. made yourself throw up? I mean, accepted it when I was drunk/sick, but never gave my esophagus the old one finger salute.
05. skinny dipped? Coors + Wine = Ryan can be talked into anything.
06. ever been in love? Surely
07. made yourself cry to get out of trouble? That's for skirts
08. pictured your crush naked? Sometimes stroke material is too far away, so you do what you have to do.
09. actually seen your crush naked? Thank the lord for that telescopic lens and the strength of that tree branch.
10. cried when someone died? Absolutely
11. lied? Id be lying if I said I hadn't.
12. fallen for your best friend? No, I'm straight.
13. been rejected? Me? please.
14. rejected someone? Yeh, and was subsequently accused of sexual harassment as a result.
15. used someone? Just for small things like batteries.
16. done something you regret? I didn't regret it until I found out how old she was.

c u r r e n t

clothes: Clash t-shirt, jeans, high life hat.
music: The Who
make-up: Is for chicks and fags
smell: Glade Plug-In
Desktop picture: Jennifer Love Hewitt
dvd in player: Ramones Raw
color of toenails: The normal color

l a s t | p e r s o n

you touched: Little Ryan
hugged: Tammy
you imed: Colleen
you french kissed: Some pre-schooler
had sex with: Some middle-schooler
cuddled with: Some high-schooler

a r e | y o u

understanding: I try
open-minded: Not so much, at least not with minorities and social issues
arrogant: Yes
insecure: Nope
interesting: You tell me, but since I'm arrogant, I'd say yes.
hungry: Not at all
moody: I don't bleed.
hardworking: At certain things that interest me
organized: I can find pants if that's what you're asking
healthy: not even a little
shy: not normally
attractive: come on now, look at my face, am I beautiful?
Bored Easily: There's always Tetris
responsible: I pull out in time.
obsessed: About a thing here or there, but not obsessive.
angry: Almost constantly
sad: Only when they turn 18
happy: Only when they're not yet 18
hyper: Almost never
trusting: Of those close to me
talkative: I can be
legal: Well I'm not 14 and I am a U.S. citizen. That covers the two big ones.

w h o | d o | y o u | w a n n a

kill: There's a handful.
slap: More than a few
get high with: Some hot actress (chicks bone when they're on coke)
look like: I'm alright.
talk to offline: Natalie
talk to online: SexyAtSeventeen@aol.com

w h i c h | i s | b e t t e r

coke or pepsi: Depends
flowers or candy: Candy
tall or short: Guys tall, chicks short

r a n d o m

in the morning: I'm still up watching television
all you need is: Food Sex Silence
love is: Elusive
last person you danced with: I don't really dance, but some chick grabbed me a few months ago at a bar.
worst question to ask: How badly do you really need to study for this Earth Science Regents?
worst statement: No Ryan I can't! I need to study for my Earth Science Regents
who makes you laugh the most: Devin, Pat, Natalie
who makes you smile: The Contestants of American Idol
who gives you a funny feeling when you see them: Rapists
who has a crush on you: Someone with really good taste.

d o | y o u | e v e r

sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone to IM: Not so much
wish you were a member of the opposite sex: Absolutely never in my life
Wish you were younger: Nope

n u m b e r

of times i have had my heart broken: Two
of hearts i have broken: Where's that abacus?
of guys ive kissed: not even going to justify this with a response
of girls i've kissed: About 10 fewer than the number of girls who have blown me.
of continents i have lived in: one
of tight friends: 5-10
of cds i own: Hundred-ish
of scars on body: Two that are noticeable.

Yawn

2005-03-03T04:05:52Z

Mostly because it's funny, I have been looking at some LJ communities lately that are dedicated to pregnant chicks. Pictures of their stomaches, their faces, pregnancy updates etc... It occurred to me at some point today that the blanket of emotional security that these girls need is more than suitably provided from a community like that. It is also such a nice haven for their incessant bullshit. I mean, have you ever been around a pregnant person? They think that their very normal and boring reproductive function is somehow this miracle of life and need to tell people every time that their angel gives them morning sickness. The also get other people (who like to be lied to as well) telling them how pretty their stretch marks are and how beautiful the pregnant female form is. Here's the deal, and if anyone I ever have a kid with reads this, I'm sorry for telling it how it is but there's nothing cool about an otherwise hot chick putting on 80 pounds, having her belly button stick out 4 inches and having her stomach and sides look like they were date raped by Wolverine.

I wonder how many of these chicks are poking holes in rubbers and lying about their cycle to trap guys into fathering their kids. "Dad was no where to be found and mommy made up for her loss by being a whore, so if I have a kid then the guy is connected to me forever and I will have a child all my own, that unlike my whoring mother, will love me and be loved unconditionally."

Three cheers for crib death and three more for the stillborn.